What do you do, when you have an undeniable connection with someone, who isn't from where you are?

It's frustrating.

So we dream. We talk about what it would be like, if I were able to go to school there. Where we would go, who I would meet, and the how he'll show me the best sunrise watching spot. I would keep my dog, Milo or Skye at his place, because dorms don't allow pets. It would be great though, because Milo would be best friends with his dog, even though it's a little antisocial.

I'll get my first ride in a real truck, his truck, with the windows down and his band will be blasting from the speakers. Or it'll be Gavin Degraw, or Stephen Speaks, or Mayday Parade, and he'll laugh at me because I won't know all the words, but that won't matter because I'll be with him.

He'll teach me how to play golf and basketball, even though I'll be bored by the first and suck at the second. He won't be patient, in fact, he'll be down right snarky and just plain smug, but that's good, since that's exactly how I like him.

We would have movie marathons of his favourites, aka, my must sees, and have heated debates afterwards, most of which I won't win because he won't admit he's lost, even though we both know I'm right. Still, I'd like the movies, because they're deep and sustance filled, and aren't 'Knocked Up', or 'Borat'.

We'll argue. Constantly. And we'll each find proof to back ourselves up. We'll both be stubborn, but then he'll give me his puppy face, and I'd give in, even though I'm usually not a sucker for blue eyes.

He'll take me to the best spot to sleep under the stars. It'll be cheesey and hilarious because he'll bring his guitar, and light a fire, and we'll have marshmellows even though we both aren't that fond of them. He'll sing, and be embarassed, because he doesn't like his voice, but he will still sing, because it makes me laugh, in a good way.

He'll help me grow, in many ways. He'll teach me that while sometimes a little leeway is okay, there are grey areas that are best left untouched. He'll be my guide TO my Guide, and I'll trust his directions completely.

I'll feel safe, because he knows, and understands. He won't judge, he won't take advantage of it, and he'll know just what to say to distract me when it hurts.

He's always been so distracting.

So what do you do, when you're sitting in the middle of math class, and all you can do is think about something that is so unattainable? Everything is what it should be, except a few, simple inconsistencies and it all gets thrown out of balance.

If I were there, I would be happy. I would be away from this horrible cloud of distrust and drama and angry, critical hearts. I am suffocated by the doubt that surrounds me.

Je suis une rêveuse. Et toi?

Everything that you would give / Is everything I couldn't take / 'Cause nothing feels like home / You're a thousand miles away